18 Masters sights, sounds, tragedies

AUGUSTA, Ga. — 18 bits of nonsense from wandering the grounds on Masters Thursday.

1. Gary Player’s guilty fast food pleasure…

…does not seem to exist. But about an hour after his ceremonial tee shot, as the soon-to-be-90-year-old Player took questions from assembled media, one caught his attention: Kevin Van Valkenburg asked the last time he’d had fast food. His answer, in full:

“Well, you don’t reach 90 as I do if you eat a bunch of crap. I can tell you that. But that’s your choice. Everybody has a choice. I want to live to 100 because I love people. I love golf. I just love life.

“I’ve got a young girlfriend — I’ve changed my life. How about that, at 90, finding a girlfriend? Tom [Watson] is not as old as me, but he’s also found a new one. I’ll tell you what, guys, you all — you or your wife is going to die. One of the spouses are going to die, and it’s not the end of life.

“So many people that does happen and they get so disheartened that they don’t think they should continue life. The greatest gift bestowed upon a man or woman is life. So my ambition is to reach 100.

“So I went to India and I met a gerontologist, and he gave me 11 things to work on, which I adhere to. So I might drop dead tomorrow, but I’m giving it a hell of a try.”

2. Bernhard Langer’s red would raise some eyebrows…

…if it was anybody else wearing it. Red on top and red on bottom? That’s a lot. But on the 40th anniversary of your red-on-red Masters victory? That’s a different story. That’s hell yeah. Bernhard Langer shot 2 over par. He’s 67 years old. He looks great. He could make the cut.

3. Ken Griffey, Jr. took a picture…

…of Jordan Spieth and his daughter. A cute picture! He took a bunch of other pictures, too — because that’s his job this week. Griffey is a photography enthusiast. He’s a golf enthusiast. He’s a sports enthusiast. And yes, we’re talking about that Ken Griffey. Plus he’s making call times at 5-something a.m. every morning this week to shoot the Masters.

4. One player shot 90…

…and, strangely, left me impressed. Things went very, very south for Nick Dunlap. He hit it in every body of water at Augusta National — many of them multiple times. He shot 90 on a day where very literally nobody shot in the 80s. He’s in last place by 11. But he didn’t WD, not even when he was 11 over par through 12 holes. There’s some honor in that.

5. One player shot 65…

…and, less surprisingly, left me impressed. Justin Rose made bogey at No. 18 and still leads by 3. When you do that they don’t just ask you questions in the standup interview area — they drag you into the media center, with the mahogany podiums and the leather chairs. Does Rose notice who’s chasing him? No. But also yes.

“You do notice Scottie [Scheffler] on the leaderboard and you’re like, that’s a great start for him. You know, he’s going to be tough from there for sure. Like, you know that. But it doesn’t rattle you or change what you’re doing or influence you in any way.”

6. Scottie Scheffler was told…

…that, statistically, you pretty much need to be inside the top 10 after the first round to win. He didn’t care. But he’s happy to be T2.

“I don’t really care what happened in the last few tournaments,” he said. “I think anytime you get close to the lead, it’s going to be easier for you to win the golf tournament. That’s a simple fact of the matter. You get off to a good start, statistically you’re going to have a better chance to win the tournament.”

7. I could not stop laughing…

…at Jose Luis Ballester’s answer about peeing in Rae’s Creek. You’d think an amateur playing in his first Masters round and drawing attention for peeing in the most famous body of water in golf while paired with the World No. 1 might be a little apprehensive about the whole situation. Instead?

“It was not embarrassing at all for me. If I had to do it again, I would do it again.”

8. Yasir Al-Rumayyan was here…

…as confirmed by our Josh Berhow. What does that mean? Who could say?! But the man pulling the money strings for LIV Golf is a noteworthy presence at this club.

9. Jon Rahm looked like he wanted to snap…

…his driver over his knee coming off the 9th tee. He didn’t — this was more of a pump fake — but Rahm came in as the tournament’s third favorite and shot a disappointing 3-over 75. He has a hole to dig out of if he wants to contend for his second green jacket.

10. Viktor Hovland had a terrific explanation…

…for the carnage that came at No. 15. Patrick Cantlay was long of the green and hit two pitch shots that rolled over the green and into the water. Other players did, too. But not Hovland.

“It’s just really difficult,” he said. “I hit a really nice pitch shot and I made sure to aim it really far left, away from the pin, because you can easily hit a nice pitch on that green and it just rolls in the water, which I’m sure a lot of guys did today.

“So I made sure to hit a high soft one and just keep it really far left, and even then it came trickling back. I was really happy with my birdie. But you don’t have to be far off to make a double or hit it in the water or whatnot.”

Hovland said this is the firmest he’s seen this golf course on a Thursday.

11. Last year’s runner-up…

…worked his way right back in the mix. Ludvig Aberg was even par through 11 holes. He was four under through 18 holes. Hello, Ludvig.

12. The day’s most surprising ejections…

…came from Russell Henley and Sepp Straka, two trendy picks entering in fine form. You could add some others to this list, like Jon Rahm or Adam Scott. We’ll see more ejections on Friday — cut day. But because there’s so much lead-up to this tournament it’s always a bit jarring to see the guys who are completely out of it after just 18 holes.

13. Bryson DeChambeau’s coach…

…seems confident. Dana Dahlquist was standing behind the range, waiting for his player, as I walked in. He said that he expects his player to win the tournament “by a bunch.”

14. Fred Couples’ Thursday…

…was just outrageous. Couples is 65. He’s the second-oldest player in the field. He rolled in a putt from off the green at No. 1 and he holed out with a hybrid at No. 14 for eagle. He’s one under par. What a player. What a place. What a sport.

15. Phil Mickelson’s World No. 1 player…

…started better than he finished. Joaquin Niemann was three under par through five holes. He was even par through 18 holes. He’s well within striking distance — closer than Mickelson, who shot 3 over. LIV Golf’s contingent is led by DeChambeau and Hatton in T5. But they have company in Patrick Reed and Bubba Watson (T11) with Sergio Garcia (T27).

16. Patrick Reed was not impressed…

…with his putting. With anything, really. “Piss-poor,” he said, asked to describe his day. “Pretty simple. Hit it fine, missed it in the wrong spots, and putted like a blind man.”

17. Rory McIlroy’s collapse…

…was the worst first-round horror show I’ve ever seen. Oh boy. I was out walking with my colleague James Colgan for those last few Rory McIlroy holes and wow — what a bleak scene. Every 30- and 40-something man following his group had been coasting along in the bliss of an effortless four-under-par first 14 holes and then suddenly everything went wrong. The air got let out of the balloon. It was like everybody suddenly realized they shouldn’t have eaten that extra egg salad sandwich after carrying it around in the sun all day. Not good.

18. I’m sitting in the media center…

…and Bryson DeChambeau is still hitting balls on the range. He shot 3 under par today. He’s T5. He likes his position. So do a handful of other players. The rest of ’em? They’ve got work to do.

“>